You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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