Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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