I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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