I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
