What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
