I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
