And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wear drunk well.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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