Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
