My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We need to get me chipped asap
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
