id be glad to
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
