K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
