We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
