i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
