I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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