Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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