Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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