Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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