I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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