I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
