I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
