Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
