just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
