She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
