Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
