Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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