Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
