i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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