put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
