every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
