She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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