this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
