I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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