Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
