this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize