my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
