all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
