i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
