Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
