remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize