yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it glows. i had to have it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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