I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
where am i from again
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
