It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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