I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
