hotel room ftw
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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