so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
