everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
