Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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