two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
