5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
