so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
