if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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