I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
