At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
