Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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