I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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