Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
