GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
