I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How external is "for external use only"?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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