i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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