Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
