We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
