Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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