There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
