My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
