Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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