You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
This toilet bowl is my home.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
